Dad: as told by me

I am an eligibility worker with the Department of Social Services in my county on the adult unit. We process and maintain ongoing Long Term Care for cases that have an adult active on the case. Today, while taking the closed files for my team to our closed records room, I came across the file of my father-in-law with a blue sticker across it that read, 'DECEASED.' I was not prepared for the flood of emotions and tears that followed. He passed away in his sleep at home on September 26, 2013 around 2am. I guess its like the saying goes that sometimes you do not feel a cut until you see it as your brain hasn't processed it yet. Seeing that note made my brain process his passing all over again. I work with my mom, so I took the file, went to her office and closed the door, and cried on her shoulder for what seemed like forever.

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The first date I had with my eventual husband twelve years ago, I also met his parents. I told his dad that I was going to marry his son (yes, that same day). And he laughed. Not in a "wow, you are a fatal attraction" way but more so "okay, if those are your plans, hopefully it pans out that way." That was the way that dad was. Never condescending. Never mean. Never negative.

Dad was an amazing man. Ask anyone. I have never heard anyone utter a bad word about him and in all of the years that I have known him, I can't think of anything bad to say about him. He became a Christian later in life and brought his family that consisted of his wonderful wife and three boys to know Christ through not only His words but his actions. The fingerprints of God covered his body and everything that he did. He was friends with any and everyone; it did not matter your background or your current situation. 

In May 2007, he had his first stroke. He was in New York for work and about to board the Amtrac. He had the stroke and an ambulance was called who insisted that he be taken to a hospital but he adamantly refused. At that same time, my mother in law (whom I call momma) and husband were headed home to Virginia from my college graduation in Tennessee. The 7.5 hour trip was sprinkled with all kinds of issues with their vehicle whichever dad was kept abreast of by momma. He refused Togo to the hospital in New York because his wife and son were headed to Union Station in D.C. To pick him up and he did not want them to stress any more than they already had by finding that he wasn't there when they arrived. So they put him in a wheelchair and put him on the train.

This is one of my favorite stories about him. He was so concerned about his wife and son not stressing anymore that he risked his health to be with them. That is love. That is sacrifice.

When the train arrived and he was taken off of the train in the wheelchair. An ambulance was called and he was taken to the hospital I met everyone at the hospital that night. Before we had to leave as visiting hours came to a close, dad asked momma to go home to get a good rest and asked her to bring something back for him: his Bible on tape and a Walkman to play it.as most know, a stroke effects the left side of the body. Without the use of his left side, dad would not be able to adequately hold his hefty Bible. He followed this short lesson with this statement: "isn't it amazing how God made our bodies?" This coming from a man who suffered a debilitating stroke four hours before seeking medical treatment to spare the feelings of his loved ones.

By the time he passed, the number of strokes had surpassed 10 and were coupled with the occasional heart attack and early signs of dementia. He went from using a quad and, to a walker, to a manual wheelchair, to an electric scooter sand eventually not being able to complete bed rest in the hospital bed set in his room and cared for by a nurse. This wonderful man was changing. Did his spirit diminish? I would like to say no but with so many health issues, so many medications, so little of "the old you" remaining, I wish that I could say that he was exempt. But I don't believe that his spirit diminish, just less of it was shown to us and more of it was present with God. As Christians, we believe that we ware not of this world and this is not our home. Dad was no longer fully here as he was preparing his forever home.

Momma had 45 years of marriage, my husband had 28 years of his dad (while his brothers had 42 and 32 years), and I had the pleasure of knowing him for 12 years. Anyone did not know him truly missed out on an amazing friend. He was the definition of a hard worker. As loyal as they come. Compassionate and truly heartbroken for the things that broke Jesus's heart.

 

Energized

I can admit and my track record can show that I am not the best at this whole blogging thing. there have been many times before that I have said that I am going to start writing everyday or that I am going to post more pictures. The truth of the matter is that the fact that life became too busy for crafts and I felt like I was not being true to the reason that I began this blog to begin with. But then I started thinking about the fact that this blog is not just about being creative but also about me (the "little" part of the title). So if there are other things on my mind, I should not feel like I am doing any sort of disservice or staying from its purpose but that I am just naturally following the route I should.


Whew! That felt good1 Now, on to some updates!

Let's see...where to begin. Well, I guess there have been some lows. My sweet, sweet father-in-law, whom i am unsure if I have mentioned before, has been placed in hospice care. This man is such a fighter! Since 2007, he has suffered 8 strokes, a heart attack and numerous other illnesses. In October 2012, he had to be placed on a feeding tube. The fact that he is now in hospice care is more for his comfort, not that his health has taken such a decline that the end is at any moment. But it did make our family think and begin for his reunion with Jesus. This has been tough on my husband, his biggest fan. For those that do not know, my husband is 6'1" and about 230lbs. He's as tough as they come except when it involves his family. His father's decline in health has been so difficult on him but he has been such a wonderful support for his mother. The coming together of our family during this difficult time has made it that much more bearable.

I have been having terrible headaches and stomach issues for the longest and finally decided to get a check-up. Turns out, I have a few peptic ulcers which stinks. I am taking medication for them but it also calls for me to change my diet, such as taking out foods that are high in acidity. Does my tummy really want me to cut out all of the delicious citrus fruits that I love to eat?! Yes...yes it does. SO it has been an adjustment but I cannot complain because it could have been something worse.

The in-between. my husband's job as a contractor with Quantico Marine Base came to an end on March 1st, the morning that the government furlough was put into effect. While this was not only unexpected and unwarranted, this blow knocked us back but not down. We have been through this before: my husband was without a employment for two and a half years about a year and a half into our marriage. But the difference this time is starkly different. My husband has thrown himself into his side project (now turned full-time career) launching his Trust No One brand. He has done such an amazing job that we are headed to Florida at the beginning of next week for him to hand-deliver and setup his clothes in a store (much more posts on this to come).

I completed my probationary year with my new (well, year old) job and have been promoted to a new position which I love! Things have been going pretty well for my little family. The downs have been bad they are an opportunity to strive to do better, focus more on Jesus, and bring us closer together. The good times have reminded us how hard work and faith pays off.

I am sure I have bored everyone to death with my ramblings so I'll end for tonight.