Unfortunately, today is that day for me. It started out normal and actually wasn't so bad. I have been and will be in training for work this week which means jeans everyday and driving (something I honestly really do love to do but don't get to often as I carpool with my mom the 7 minutes it usually takes us to get to work). But I did not make a smoothie this morning which was the first clue as to the rest of the day. Since my stomach has been acting ridiculous, I have been reading various websites and talking with my doctor on ways to ease the pain my stomach ulcers constantly cause, in addition to the Nexium. I have started to bring smoothies for lunch as they are easier on my stomach and cause a significantly less amount of pain than eating solids. I was not only running late but left my mixer at work so I didn't have a cup to put it in. I though that it if I did something light for lunch it wouldn't be so bad. Well I saw Chik Fil A and all sense of comfort went out the window and my appetite for solids and p that delicious chicken took over. Minutes after eating the sad which, my belly began to rebel. But I was still at training so writhing in pain would have to wait.
Once I got home around 5:30, I took my usual fetal position on the bed and hoped the pain would go away by the time we had to leave for Bible study. 7:30 came and went and frustration set it. I really wanted to go tonight but my aches did not have the same schedule. I decided to look at Instagram...and this is where the slippery slope opened up to a pool of pity. I saw pictures of people with their babies, babies that I am unable to have right now due to finances and the almost certain unbearable pain that ulcers can have during pregnancy; screenshots of encouraging words sent to people who are currently following their dreams, dreams that I have but am unsure of how to begin to make into a reality; images of things that others have that I want. In times like these, it is hard to think rationally. So instead, I wallow in it. As a counselor, I know different techniques to help encourage myself and change my attitude. Well, one fell into my lap today....literally
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